Susan's Blog » Listening: The Ultimate Social Skill

“If I live to Christmas Day, I’ll be 80.” 

Rushing to get home and on
to my next task, as I usually do, this statement stopped me in my
tracks. The sweet smell of freshly cut hay was suspended in the hot
humid air inside the old barn and chaff infused sweat trickled down my
shirt, but I made a conscious decision to be still and sat on the bale
next to the kind and gracious man selling me hay.  

For the next
forty-five minutes, he told me of his 40 years as a career military man
in the Air Force.  Often separated from his wife, of now 60 years, he’d
seen war and combat, but managed to keep his family farm afloat.  He
worked long, physically challenging days for his country, family, and
faith, but put two kids through college and made a business of cattle
and hay. His guilty pleasure was the yearly elk hunting trip he made
with his “buddies,” now all deceased.  He mentioned how their deaths
affected his life, losing their friendship and the support system for
his wife during his absences.  I was both enchanted and humbled by this
“good” man.

Etiquette, manners, and protocol are human relations
tools.  So, basically, I teach people social skills and how to use them
to connect meaningfully with others in ways that enhance our
businesses, jobs, travel, and social lives. What I sometimes forget is
that we must also “learn to be still,” something the band, The Eagles
reminded us of fifteen years ago.  While I teach active listening
skills to ambitious students, diplomats, business people, and
socialites, I need to remember that we should listen to simply enrich
and appreciate our lives.  

Saying goodbye, my new friend took
my hand in his and gave me a warm two-handed shake.  Looking into my
eyes he called me delightful, but indeed, I was the beneficiary of
hearing about an important life well lived and loved.